Third Trimester: What Not to Expect When You're Expecting

12/19/2024

The third trimester of pregnancy is often described as a rollercoaster ride of anticipation, discomfort and joy. While it’s easy to find advice on what to prepare for, knowing what not to expect can save you from unnecessary stress and unrealistic expectations. Here’s a guide to managing those final weeks with clarity and confidence.

1. Don’t expect to sleep like a baby

By the time you reach the third trimester, a full night’s sleep may feel like a distant memory. Between frequent trips to the bathroom, restless legs and finding a comfortable position with your growing belly, sleep often becomes fragmented. While you may hear “get your rest now” from well-meaning friends, don’t beat yourself up if your sleep patterns are far from perfect. Short naps and resting when you can are more realistic goals.

In addition, we often tell pregnant people to sleep on a side, but we don’t mean on a hip, which may cause a lot of back pain. It is best to sleep with a tilt to either side — meaning a pillow under one buttock and a second pillow to support the belly.

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2. Don’t expect consistent energy levels

The “nesting instinct” might kick in, but don’t count on being a productivity machine every day. One day, you might feel like organizing your entire home; the next, walking to the kitchen might seem like a Herculean task. Listen to your body and embrace both the energetic highs and inevitable lows.

3. Don’t expect a predictable timeline

While your due date gives a general idea, it’s not a guaranteed arrival date. Only about 5 percent of babies are born on their due date, and first-time pregnancies often go past the 40-week mark. Try not to get fixated on a specific day. Your baby will arrive when ready.

4. Don’t expect everyone to respect boundaries

As your due date approaches, unsolicited advice and personal questions can become relentless. From strangers asking about your birth plan to family members questioning your parenting choices, you might feel like your pregnancy is public property. Practice setting boundaries early, and don’t feel obligated to share every detail.

I often talk to patients about asking family and friends to help them and not just to hold the baby and expect the pregnant or newly delivered person to be the host. This works great for in-laws. Ask them to bring food while you feed the baby, or ask friends to sign up to do laundry or clean instead of just coming to visit the baby. Setting that expectation in the third trimester and making a plan that keeps patients in control is helpful.

5. Don’t expect every symptom to be “normal”

Braxton Hicks, swelling and backaches are common third-trimester symptoms, but not every sensation should be brushed off as normal. Trust your instincts, and don’t hesitate to call your healthcare provider if something feels off. It’s better to be cautious than to downplay potential concerns.

6. Don’t expect to feel emotionally stable

The third trimester can be an emotional whirlwind. You might oscillate between excitement, anxiety, impatience and fear — all in a single afternoon. Hormonal shifts and the weight of impending parenthood can make emotions unpredictable. Give yourself grace, and lean on your support system when you need to vent or cry.

7. Don’t expect everything to go as planned

Whether it’s your birth plan, nursery setup or the timing of labor, flexibility is key. Labor and delivery are unpredictable, and clinging too tightly to a plan can lead to unnecessary stress. Focus on what you can control, and remember the ultimate goal is a healthy baby and mom.

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8. Don’t expect immediate gratification

As eager as you might be to meet your little one, those last weeks can feel endless. This is often referred to as the “hurry up and wait” stage of pregnancy. Use this time to focus on self-care, indulge in quiet moments and prepare mentally for the life-changing journey ahead.

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The bottom line: The third trimester is a unique chapter of pregnancy, filled with anticipation and challenges. By managing your expectations and staying flexible, you can approach this phase with a sense of calm and readiness. Remember, no two pregnancies are alike, so embrace your journey and trust you are doing your best. The finish line is near!

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Third trimester: What not to expect when you're expecting